Stolen Joy

photography of woman surrounded by sunflowers
Photo by Andre Furtado on

We all find joy and radiance and a reason to move on even in the most dire of circumstances. Even in chaos and madness, there is still a beauty that comes from the vibrancy of another human spirit. Ishmael Beah

It feels like depression steals my joy. How about you? I have been struggling the last few months with finding my joy and feels so misplaced and lost that I cannot access it anymore. I am trying very hard not to wallow while trying to concentrate when working while dealing with my inner demons at the same time such as my paranoid thoughts and feelings. I sometimes wonder if this new phenomenon of my illness will ever leave or whether it will just be another peculiar symptom to come to terms with. And I truly do grapple with it as I hate the thoughts and where my thoughts wander too. And it is not a companion that I want lingering in my life. Life is tough enough.

So I need to find a new way of thinking or this strange entity will be destructive to my mental health. I am working through the checklist.

  • I am taking the necessary medication
  • I am going for treatment and counselling
  • I try my very best to ignore it
  • I try to not allow it to distress me so that I cannot function
  • I am managing my life around it as best I can

And that is definitely the crux of the matter that we can only do the best we can when dealing with whatever our illness throws at us and we know it can range from paranoia, hallucinations and so much more. I must admit that it is not easy and has never been an easy road for me despite my best attempt at my strategies mentioned. But I will keep walking and keep going. Forward is still forward no matter how slow you go is an expression that I love immensely by the slow tortoise that I am.

If you can relate please share your thoughts with me. I welcome encouragement and your experiences which may help me on my journey so I can avoid the self-pity trap.


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